Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
