I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
