I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
