Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
