Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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