So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
