I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
