FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
