Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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