He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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