i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
