after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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