And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I will die if light touches me.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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