I hope mine doesn't look like that
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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