forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
4 words: hood of his car
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
