what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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