...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
