Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
