I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
