jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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