I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
