Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
