I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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