they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
