I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
