yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
