Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
