Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I seem to have left my pride at pride
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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