That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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