what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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