so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
