there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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