Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
