Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
