Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
