Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Less talking, more tequila
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
