where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
