there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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