People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
