She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
