I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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