? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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