the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
