Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
