Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
