I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize