Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
this just has baby written all over it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
