The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
