The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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