I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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