ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
