My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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