we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
