I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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