i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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